Old Videos

As I was looking for spare videotape to record my teleserye, I stumbled across a pile of old videos. So to my curiosity I took a glimpse of each, one by one. To my surprise I was transported back 11 yrs of my life. July 16 1994 @ approximately 7pm on a cold winters day. There I was sitting on the sofa, with my friends around eagerly waiting for my reaction as I opened my gifts. Must’ve been a birthday celebration. With my bold and confident self, outspoken and promoting, subconsciously making comments of the wonderful gifts that spread around me. So much laughter, joy, innocence and a sense of contentment in everyone’s eyes. Dancing and carrying on like a child let on the loose…Out and in another snapshot of my life…Sept 16 1995, 8pm An old friend’s bedroom. "Hmmm .I actually taped this?" Recording staring the Lens straight at a teary eyed girl full of hesitations, wonderer, love - young love that is…

Those were the days of learning about new emotions, longing to create a world that seems reachable, yet not quite there. So corny but so kilig to the bones. In my bedroom - April 10, 1996 6pm, Girl’s pyjama night. Sitting on the carpet with a mud mask on 4 girls faces, tea bags on their eyes, singing Toni Braxton’s ‘You mean the world to me’ wearing my lil brother’s underwear on our heads…Very creative & imaginative, with no care no reservations. "Is that me? Crying throughout my 18 roses?" July 12, 97.7:30pm, emotions came flooding back as I watched myself be a martyr. Premature love, who said love is blind? I agree! Dec 30, 1998 @ 10pm Philippines - just minutes til the making of a new year, having so much fun with love ones. Everyone has put his or her party hats on, twitch in my brain "How I wish this moment would last. The next 5 yrs…BLANK.

Turned 25 last year and looking back at my past activities I could truly say that I was so much more contented then, knew little but contentment was at its peak. I guess because the older you get life becomes more routine. You wake up every morning 5 days a week at almost exact same time, then go to work, joggle your brain, go home with a tired drained body mind & soul dreading the next working day. You eat and sleep then back to square one. The words you use seemed more refined less variety as if you’ve programmed yourself to speak in a certain way, certain manner. Friday becomes a national day, weekend becomes precious. You’re bogged down with responsibilities, bills, and relationship yadiyadiyada! It draws you to dig deep, to question every single thing in the universe, of course only if you’re as deep and sentimental as I am.
What to do? Shift gear, stop think and start living another quarter of my life with zest and not put every egg in one basket.